December 2009
19 posts
2 tags
He Wasn't
I’ve always felt as if there was supposed to be another important male in my life, other than Dad. I’ve always felt as if I was supposed to have an older sibling. An older brother. Some of my dreams have had consisted a brother-like character, and often, I find myself feeling as close to guy friends that way.
When I was two, I asked Mom where my brother was. Her brows curved in...
1 tag
AB♭B Chord
My theme song is the 3rd climax of Fur Elise. My theme song takes part in Moonlight Sonata. My background music consists of pieces of different songs put into one. Strangely, they don’t have matching tempos and they keep going from C major to A minor. I’ve got some exotic tunes ringing in my ears and they won’t stop. I’ve got songs from my familiar tongue and...
1 tag
Jacqueline
You will never fail to amaze me. Whether it’s the good or the bad, it doesn’t matter. I can’t force you to listen, to talk, or to pay any sort of attention.
I say I hate you, but that’s just me wanting to.
Jacqueline, I hate you.
1 tag
Don't Be So Pervasive
My dear, do you know what this means? Yes, it is a new beginning. No, not the beginning of a new relationship. No, not the beginning of profound love. Not the beginning of trust, nor forgiving. My dear, let me just tell you already;
It is the beginning of not being fuck up in the head.
2 tags
Realistic II
You once had the ability to make me laugh. The itty-bitty, harmless, and silly jokes turned into harsh, discriminating smart remarks. Not knowing when to laugh, or when to stay quiet, there were confusing and regretful moments. You had asked me why the things said weren’t making me laugh genuinely. Plainly because it was crude humor. Har har har, very hysterical.
2 tags
Realistic
You once had the ability to make me smile. Oh, how you could make me smile. The corners of my lips were more than capable of reaching both of my ears. Each level of pure happiness rose higher and higher, and I wasn’t aware at first that it was possible. Little to my acknowledge, did I know it would soon descend.
3 tags
lanigiriO
I’m afraid I’ve lost my creativity. Blank pages stay blank or scribble-scrabbled on in a matter of minutes. Nothing impressive. Draw elephant here, tree there. I’m inscribing pointless doodles.
I need to sketch faces better.
1 tag
Nosy Bastard
Oh, darling. You’re going to pierce your smooth face because you like the looks of it. Your baby face may not stay infant-like any longer if you do so, you know. Why do you really want it?
Oh, darling. I heard you want to permanently ink your flesh because you want something meaningful to be with you forever until you rot in your coffin. You don’t want to leave us without taking something with...
1 tag
Ecessionray
I still don’t know what to do with my life. Counselors are telling me to get ready for Junior year, and soon enough college be here. It seems as though the things I dream of doing and enjoy doing isn’t enough for me to keep a stable lifestyle. Recession, I hate you so bad.
2 tags
Merry Fucking X-Men Christmas II
The side of me now see lights, wrapped gifts, ginger bread houses, ornaments, and happy people. The side of me when I was much younger saw smoking, car crashes, yelling, screaming, hitting, recession, hospitals, and secretive people. I was corrupted before I even hit the toddler phase.
This household isn’t meant for Christmas, let’s face it. We split the family in half in year 2003....
2 tags
Merry Fucking X-Men Christmas
Christmas day has never been a good affair for me and my family, at least not that I remember. There are reasons why I hate Christmas carols, why I don’t want to spend the holiday with my intermediate family, and why Christmas is just another ordinary day plus more yelling.
I’ve been scarred with this holiday.
2 tags
Good Sign: I'm Listening To The Beatles
What would you do if I sang out of tune? Would you stand up and walk out on me? Lend me your ears and I’ll sing you a song. And I’ll try not to sing out of key. O, I get by with a little help from my friends.
My happy-rate rises up quicker, I smile more often, I laugh uncontrollably. My attitude has decreased, unlike my trust. I can say I, without second thoughts, am happy. A...
2 tags
Parkway Tomorrow
Lucky week, lucky week. Just as I had wished, the trust from my parents has increased. Obviously, these words cannot describe how extremely happy and relieved I am. Many months for the fucked up past to be left off. 10 long months in the process that had finally ended our waiting. Can’t you understand how glad I am?
Note to self: Don’t overprotect and keep too much restrictions for future...
1 tag
Straight/Gay/Les/Bi/Pan
Yes, I make sexuality jokes. Yes, I joke about your mother’s vagina. Yes, I make fun of your friend’s vagina. Yes, I will, without doubt, make fun of your vagina. Yes, I have two wives, Serina and Izzy, thank you. Yes, I look at boobs. Yes, I am girl-picky. Yes, I hate girls. Yes, I like girls.
Yes, I make penis jokes. Yes, I will say I have a bigger bulge than yours. Yes, I can get your...
2 tags
Eventually
One step, one foot, don’t trip, don’t fall. We’ve been here all before.
All the energy built up for nothing, the day time is more tiring than usual. That’s a lie, actually. It’s more of vice versa, but that’s how humans are made. We’re not nocturnal, we’re not meant to stay up all night. Malfunction screws up more than we think. And thinking screws up more than we’d like.
But we manage.
2 tags
Again Again
You said my life has been corrupted, and that you were the cause of it. But I’m not going to let that be of me. I refuse to believe it. Oh, I have much planned.
While cleaning out my closet, I found a list of 80-some goals to reach and to succeed. Ridiculous, yet urging things to do. Racing up and down the list, I have already accomplished one thing: Pass Algebra 1. Is all. What have I been...
3 tags
Ong Ngoai,
The incense cones smell just like you. Yesterday, I lit up two to remind me of how it was when you were still alive.
Con ngu Ong Ngoai nhieu lam.
4 tags
Holy Shit! Holy Shit!
No one ever likes San Diego, so I don’t blame you for leaving. In fact, I’m jealous. At the moment, I’m a mixture of happy and upset. Happy; my life has taken a U turn, and bettered itself. It drove itself so wild and enjoyable, that I barely complain about it at all. Slightly upset; You’re moving back to L.A. Slightly, because I should be happy. You’re going to be out of this shithole, I should...
3 tags
Human Relations II
Fear is built up from doubt. Doubt comes from being discouraged, as I have been told. However, I was far from discouragement today. I was ready. Everyone shared their story, lame or somewhat. But we kept our ears opened anyways. We were all strangers in a circle discussing what made a huge impact on our lives and how it made us stronger. I named a couple of things, people.
Before I entered the...