I think it’s been two years since I posted something on this blog. Sometimes I go back and read some things and a lot of times, I wish I sought help. Or companionship. I wish I would have stood up for myself, because I was scared. 

I’m doing fine now. In fact, I am doing wonderfully. Tons better than I ever was. This is the happiest I have ever been. I am in love with my best friend, I know which path to take for my future goals, and I’m not sad anymore. 

I’m not sad or scared anymore.

I am happy.

I’m considering onto making another separate blog. This one will probably still be up, but I don’t want to use it anymore. I can not make a big deal and delete all of its contents and start fresh, but in case you didn’t know, leavethisplanet is my alternative Tumblr. I’m trying to be careful to not expose my default Tumblr because people from school can find it. If they want to know what’s really in my head, I suggest my alternative. It’s what matters most.

So, anyways, I might delete this one and make a whole new one or just keep it. Don’t look for my new Tumblr, if anything, I’ll look for you. Or I’ll just post a link to it. Whichever. I’m still debatig though.

Mo is a male version of myself. Only bigger, stronger, wiser, and older… And Japanese.

But I feel as though we share the same minds at most times, and I feel lucky to have a friend who understands from my perspective even without me explaining anything. Mo is the older brother I’ve always wanted and loved. Although we have only known each other for however many months, I just know our friendship is pretty strong. Thank you, Matsuda. You’re the best panda bear.

Believe me when I say it, I totally am.

I can become jealous easily, my mood swings are ridiculous, I don’t think before I speak at most times, I sound like a boy going through puberty [which I’m sure is okay with you], I can be close-minded, I speak my mind too often, I’m fucking stubborn, I have to deal with paranoia, I expect too much out of everything. And you still don’t think I’m horrible. Fuck, man. Get out of the clouds, wipe the mud out of your brain. You don’t want to be involved with me. I’m not worth your troubles. Trust me on that.

Please and thank you.